I’ve always struggled with self-confidence. For much of my life, I allowed the Enemy’s arrows to strike through the heart of my self-worth and value. I thought I had to prove myself. I needed to be fit, smart, well-liked, productive and esteemed. When something in my life wasn’t going right, I would crumble into a big, mushy pile of insecurities. I would take my failings and wear them, unable to live in victory in any other areas of my life.
I couldn’t be a good example of a righteous child of God because I allowed my feelings to dictate who I was in Christ. I was like a ship on the waves, going back and forth depending on the external forces. Who in their right mind would want to emulate my insecurity-driven life? Shouldn’t Christians be brimming with confidence and worth because of the cross?
Finally, God brought me to a place in my life where He cut everything that I tied my self-worth and confidence to. I wallowed in my self-defeat, until I looked to God for help. I realized that I placed very little value on the fact that I am a child of God and placed great value in what the world deems as worthy. God showed me that when I form roots of self-worth to areas other than the Trinity, they become idols and distract me from loving Him most.
During that time, God helped me cultivate a single, strong root to Him. He became my self-worth and confidence. I am the daughter of the Most High, and He places great value and worth into me. I don’t need to prove my worth because Christ proved it on the cross. God has chosen me for a special purpose, and He provides me lots of grace to accomplish His will.
Now when the waves of this life knock me around, I don’t fall down in despair. I stand firm in God’s promises, and I claim unseen victory. I don’t bow down to the Enemy’s accusations. I only bow down to my Creator. All of my self-worth and confidence is wrapped up in Christ. I fear little else other than to lose His favor, His blessing, His smile. I no longer care about self-confidence or self-worth. All I want is God-confidence and God-worth.
“Or, you may fall on your knees and pray—to God’s delight!
You’ll see God’s smile and celebrate,
finding yourself set right with God.
You’ll sing God’s praises to everyone you meet,
testifying, ‘I messed up my life—
and let me tell you, it wasn’t worth it.
But God stepped in and saved me from certain death.
I’m alive again! Once more I see the light!’”
– Job 33.26-28 (The Message)