There were kids of all ages, but our two boys were probably one of the youngest playing. I loved watching my boy, Isaac, play. He is in gymnastics, so he was doing lots of cartwheels, jumps and somersaults. Many times Isaac would run up to one of the other kids and ask him to watch him do a cartwheel, and the boy would either ignore him, watch and laugh at him or just laugh and walk away.
I had to analyze my feelings about Isaac’s rejections. Of course, the mother in me wanted to give a lecture to all the boys, letting them know just how special my boy is. However, I realized that life is full of rejection. The world will always reject us, especially when we let our Jesus shine through us.
I watched Isaac to see if he was getting upset, but he never did. Whenever a boy would ignore him or laugh at him, he would just walk up to me and give me a hug or a kiss. He would allow me to love on him a little bit, and then he was ready to go try his hand at playing with the big boys again.
As I watched Isaac smiling and enjoying himself even after being laughed at and ignored, God gave me a little of His beautiful insight. God showed me that if I am continuously seeking Him and finding security in Him, I would never care what the world thought of me. If I daily allowed God to fill my heart to overflowing with His mercy and love, I would never feel depressed, insecure, unloved, vulnerable, deserted, ugly, ashamed or stupid. I wouldn’t have those negative feelings because my feeling-capacity would be completely occupied with feeling loved!
The reason God wants us to put Him first in every aspect of our life is because He is the ONLY one who will NEVER reject us. Everyone — EVERYONE — will reject us sooner or later. God asks us to put Him first not for His benefit, but for our benefit. When we learn to put God first, we have the ability to be Invincible in His love. And the only way we can love Him more than anything is by continuously seeking Him, talking to Him, listening to Him, reading about Him, etc.
Like any relationship, it takes time to forge intimacy. But God is such a gentleman. He waits on us. He never pushes us. And He always seeks us out even though we constantly reject Him. And if we are still completely lost on how to love Him; all we have to do is pray and ask God to help us, and He most definitely will! God only asks for our obedience; He will do the rest.
Therefore, whenever those negative feelings start creeping back, it is my cue to draw closer to God. I can find strength in Him, so I will be ready to play with the “big boys” again!
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song” (Psalm 28.7).